Alizinda's journal

Original media : TES Online - Blackwood By Alizinda The journal of a scorned lover Second Seed, 12th Oh, he says it so sweetly. "Alizinda, you are my moonlit night, my daytime warmth of the sun." But is that just the way a noble might speak to his mistress? I sometimes fear that Mathen sees me as nothing more than a spring dalliance. I know that I can't measure up to the Nibenese ladies who swoon at his approach. I know I have little to offer. But even so, I feel a love for him that's warmer than the Alik'r desert at high sun. I hope he knows that. Midyear, 8th He loves me! Tall Papa's breeches, what did I do to deserve such a man? He told me I fretted in vain. He says his heart belongs to me and me alone! He even spoke of marriage! Can you imagine? All my dreams are coming true! Midyear, 16th I was such a fool. Love? It's a cruel joke. All Mathen's talk of marriage and travel were nothing but lies. Honeyed words that let him indulge in rebellious frivolities. The other women tell me he's proposed to someone else, the heir to a northern province who has not yet arrived. I'm sure the duchess is very proud. Well, I won't be made a fool of. Not anymore. Midyear, 18th All is prepared. Mathen plans to meet me at the cottage tonight. It has to be tonight. Every night my anger grows dimmer and the sadness takes its place. He broke my heart. He used me! If I don't make him pay now, I fear I never will. Damn you, Mathen! Damn you for making me hurt the one I love!