The Deal

De La Grande Bibliotheque de Tamriel
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Read these carefully and do not deviate in any way. If you fail to follow these steps as listed, I cannot guarantee your safety or return. Remember, you came to me, and you insisted.

Before you leave on the night you plan to set out, write your plea upon any scroll made from lamb hide and only lamb hide. If you value your sanity, keep your plea short and make sure there is no room for clever reinterpretation. He draws great pleasure from using your written words against you.

Note: To write your plea, you must use the piece of charcoal I lent you. It was retrieved from a fire which was used by a one-legged lizardman to cook an albino deer. Good Luck finding another one.

With your plea written and the scroll and sacrifice in hand, approach the ring of stones on the third night of any month under the sign of the Lord, the Ritual, or the Tower. Any word spoken aloud will ensure your plea will not be heard, so come alone and stay silent.

Wait for any point where the clouds cover the moon and look for the pertinent creststone, which will vary based on the sign. You will know the creststone by the way it glows without the moonlight. Place the sacrifice we discussed before the stone, atop the scroll on which you've written your plea.

The next part is important and tricky, so rehearse ahead of time. Once the sacrifice is placed atop the scroll before the stone, you must draw the sigil on the stone (remember, only pig's blood is an acceptable medium) and finish drawing it before the moon shines again. Draw the sigil, stand, and wait.

If your plea will be heard, he'll come looking for you soon enough. If he doesn't come galloping out of a rock, before the moonlight returns, your attempt was a failure and you must wait until the next third day to try again, with a new sacrifice.

Also, since I know you're already thinking it, do not reuse your sacrifice! He will know, and there are few things that make him crankier. You do not want him to be cranky.

Finally, on the night you go to petition him, do not wear anything purple. He finds the color alternately offensive and beguiling, depending on the day, and there's no telling how he might react to it. Trust me when I say neither reaction is one you're going to enjoy.

That's it. If worst comes to worst and you end up as a couch cushion or rolling around in a giant wheel of cheese for the next five hundred years, don't say I didn't warn you. I hope I never see you again.