A Less Rude Song

Original media : TES 3 : Morrowind Comment : This book also appears in TES 4 : Oblivion and TES Online. Its title and content refer to Rude song By Anonymous They say The Iliac Bay Is the place to barrel around Without a bit of apparel on, As advertised in that carol song A tune that's sung as the west wind blows About it lovely not wearing any clothes. Ladies singing high notes, men singing lows, Implying that the most luscious depravity And complete absence of serious gravity Can only be found in the waterous cavity Of Iliac Bay. If you are the type who is more a sinner than a sinned, You'll find it all in Morrowind. But the truth, my child, Is that nothing more wild That an ordinary fashion Kind of slightly mad passion Can be detected if at all In Sentinel and Daggerfall. Whatever your odd needs: feathered, scaled, or finned, You'll find it all in Morrowind It's an invention of bards That Bretons and Redguards Have more than some staid fun And suffer deviant fornication. For the most of madness, not the least, The wise debaucher heads out east. Where your once steely reserve is now merely tinned, You'll find it all in Morrowind. In Morrowind, There is sin. But, pray, do not confuse Dunmer variety With that found in tepid Western society Compared to which, it nearly is piety. It isn't terribly ingenious calling it prudery Observing the Dark Elf aversion to nudity. After all, the preferred sort of lewdity In these parts is far more pernicious. From the Ashlanders to the wettest fishes You'll find pleasure and pain quite delicious In Morrowind. If you find yourself with unkind kinship with your kin You'll find it all in Morrowind.